My heart is dangling from your chain; It hurts to see you shine! Your smiling face is a garden, Ornamented with ruby-red flowers That suck on my blood To keep you resplendent. I am alive inside you, Yet my presence is withering away, Every minute, every second.
The sunshine in your eyes That once made my soul blossom With ecstasy and bliss, Blinds me now! Stories of torment run down my veins; Noone to even steal a glance! My hues grow deeper on you With every passing moment; Mortality keeps on blanching me Every minute, every second.
P.S.: inspired by this amazing artwork by Henn Kim.
It is not the first time I am doing this; revisiting memories has always cheered me up since I was a teenager. Places of the past mingled with the mist of my future took me to a world where my present stood in front of me in a different light.
Leaning against the parapet of my terrace, I watched the stars intently as my eyelids fluttered, my senses were slowly giving in to the intoxication of open air.
I had traversed many a city on foot and many others in my mind. There were days when the clouds mimicked my motion, trying to share my tension on dreary mornings and evenings lit up by traffic lights, taking away the boredom surrounding me. I couldn’t see many flowers blossoming, and this used to irk me always. Not many people could bother me except for a few whose orders I could not refuse; they were the only source of distraction in my world, but I never ran out of entertainment because of them. Streams of sorrow, blinding my eyes, often got mixed with raindrops or left stains on my pretty kerchiefs; an hour of star gazing healed me back into the bright sunny person that I always had been. Wherever I have been, one hope has never left my side: I will be happy. For this, I am what I am.
The roads were submerging in the lilac of twilight as the sun was going down below the horizon, leaving its “goodbyes” alive in the dying rays. Sharanya always wanted to see the whole of her college campus, but on every occasion, she failed to seize the opportunity of fulfilling her wish. It was their last day of stay at Jalpaiguri and Gautam had wilfully taken the responsibility of getting this wish fulfilled, not because his adrenaline rush had begun to revolt against his sober outer covering, but because of one reason; he wanted to enjoy Sharanya’s presence, one last time before leaving that place. Both of them kept walking, as long as they could, like every other day. Sharanya waited patiently outside a local liquor store, Gautam went inside. He came out with a large bottle covered with newspapers.
“What is it?”, Sharanya’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “Whiskey it is!”, winked Gautam.
None of them had the energy or enthusiasm to walk on foot so they got inside a “Toto”. Toto is the simplest and cheapest mode of transport in that place, and enjoyable too.
In no time, they reached college; Gautam took out a joint from his pocket and both of them kept smoking, turn by turn. Weed had different effects on these two individuals, Sharanya used to get thoughtful and Gautam, who preferred mundanity to adventure, always used to doze off to sleep after taking a few whiffs of joint. Sharanya kept on talking, Gautam listened to her intently and drank from the bottle of whiskey. Ocassionally, he would pass the bottle to Sharanya and steal a glance at her expressions while she narrated an old story with smokey concentration. Joints after joints, pegs after pegs, the level of intoxication kept shooting up to an extent where Gautam could not afford to stand on his legs and with a thud, sat on the ground, near Maya road. Sharanya’s legs quickevered and the hand with which she was holding the bottle was in full swing.
Another desire, to break an empty bottle of alcohol. Gautam who was hardly capable of keeping his head straight, tried making feeble attempts at stopping Sharanya, but all in vain. At once, with one of her hands swinging to an imaginary insane tune, she flung that bottle in the air, before Gautam could restrain her and a cracking sound was heard. Gautam got up hurriedly to search for that broken bottle; the element of fear always used to dominate him, even in his state of intense delirium. Sharanya stopped him, with all the little strength that she had.
“Don’t look there! It’s done and the bottle has been shattered into hundreds of pieces. You’ve heard the sound, be happy with it.”, chuckled Sharanya.
Gautam, understanding that it was not possible for him to control her, sat down quietly, with his red eyes half closed.
Sharanya kept traversing miles in her mind that resulted in her moving round and round, about the same place; she had her head on the ground and feet in the sky! She danced in the glory of sunlight coming from orange vapour lamps and the night had given consent to the day to take it’s place, in her mind. With red eyes, she saw moving buildings, lamp posts and all the things that caught her attention, as if she was in a merry-go-round. The lights, trying to bring her back to senses would end up getting diffused by her eyelashes and this mischief went on until she noticed something at the farthest end of Maya road which was shrouded in black.
She stood there, in a perilous state of awe, it was a face that she saw, too known to be that of a stranger. In his dormitory, filled with darkness, he smiled, and that being infectious, reached upto Sharanya’s lips in no time. Silence prevailed in the surroundings for a long time it seemed, as the measure of time had been long forgotten. A lot of questions were crowding up on her mind, the answers to which she would never be able to find, she knew. Very soon, fireflies came in between and the thread connecting her light to his darkness started loosening up, she could clearly see that there was no one and that, it was just another trick that weed was playing on her mind.
She turned back to see Shankar and Sandeep(also known by the name, “Drug Dealer”) trying to wake Gautam up from his deep sleep. On seeing Sharanya, Shankar greeted her with his usual hug and Sandeep, who was looking drunk, smiled at her.
“What are you doing here, Barbie di?”, questioned Sandeep (still smiling).
Sandeep, who was in the third year of engineering at that time, had coined this name, Barbie, for Sharanya, which she adored as well.
“I will never see you without any intoxicating material in your hand. See, I call you Drug Dealer for a reason.”, Sharanya laughed as she took away a bottle full of wine from Sandeep’s hand. Shankar laughed as well and Sandeep scratched his head out of a sense of frolicky embarrassment. The one who had been sleeping all this while had gained consiousness by then as he was seen rubbing his eyes vigorously. After this, a Toto came their way; one could easily call it “Mercedes Toto” as it had no roof. They got inside it and started gossiping again; Shankar handed her a present and when she was about to unwrap it, he requested her to do so on reaching home. Gautam, who liked dwelling in the restricted regions of his silence had taken to participating in their conversation, of late.
As they talked under the stars, indelible memories got created, memories that would not require dusting, memories that would connect them years after being separated from each other and just when this journey was about to draw to a calm end, all of them cried out in unison, “Jolu Zindabaad”. This will remain etched in their minds, forever.
P.S.: “Jolu” was the nickname given to their college, by it’s students.
Dear Lockdown, I was very annoyed at the thought of you coming into our lives. You resemble Aman from ‘Kal ho na ho’, who entered into the scene like an unwanted guest and went on to create magic, for real, by spreading love in the hearts of some people who were facing tough situations and were becoming devoid of care and affection towards each other. When I used to get up early in the morning and leave for work, I hardly got time to scrutinize my face in front of the mirror and now, when I stretch my arms comfortably and look at myself, I feel as if somebody whispers into my ears, ” Where have you been all this while, beautiful?”I hear your voice in the form of a sweet silence prevailing in my neighborhood. My hobbies had almost got covered with a thick layer of dust until you came in; you made me realize that capturing Life in “slow motion” is no less than living it in “fast forward” mode. You even taught me how to make “phuchkas” and I just can’t thank you enough for that. I could make time for my family, and yes, the credit goes to you. You made me revisit a very old version of myself. I discovered myself in a new light, in your light. How can I not fall in love with you?
I do realize, my love, that when this mayhem is over, you’ll leave me easily, reclaiming your sunshine, just as the sun kisses the horizon at daybreak. Weren’t you the one who praised my eccentricity and helped me love all that was me? I will miss you and I’ll remember the rediscovered me that you presented me with. It is difficult for me to go back again to the monotony called livelihood, leaving the vistas of my mind that you’ve helped me create. Yet, I understand that you are actually leaving the good part of yours alive in me. I thank you, my love. My whole world will heal, the Earth will heal. Your presence will be missed.
P.S: I have written this letter in collaboration with Debashree Chakraborty, a very good friend of mine.
Who are you? Somebody whom I think I know Or just an imagination, Who claims to know me?
Are you that unearthly tuft of grass, Lying on the ground, Years ago, Seemingly real, When I rewind, it reads, “Error 404: File not found.”?
Are you an era, Where parody becomes the new praise, Clarity defines haze? A face in the crowd that stands still, And when I look around, I fall prey to my demons again.
Who are you? The face of the one I see, And the soul of somebody I feel? Do you know who you are? Do you belong to this unreal reality?
It is often said that good stories and poems can lift up your mood in no time. As for me, I am just an ordinary human with a colourful vision. We all have our own shades through which we look at this world. Here, I would be presenting some of my pieces; join them and you’ll exactly know how my shades look like! You’ll find an arcade of emotions wrapped up in a surreal blanket of my imaginations, every tale will tell you a different story.
So, if you’re bored with your daily chores, stuck up somewhere, entrapped in a myriad of complications or you feel lonely even with a cup of coffee and music on a moonlit night, my compositions will be your companion. You might not be able to connect with all of it, but some of the pieces are sure to cut through your mind. Keep reading, persist in relating!
Virtual Marionette 